Eliminate Clutter

The process of editing your prose involves above all a fervent desire for exactitude. Just as a sentence spoken aloud may spill out with the subject and verb backward, so does the drive to put words down on the page entail roundabout locutions that need correcting. Since I spend my every day editing text, I’d like to point out some of the more common errors:

The first is the use of the phrase “he saw” or “he heard” to narrate a piece of plot action. The intent is good: to keep the storytelling within the lead character’s point of view. Yet such phrases act as a filter rather than an emotion. Just let the thing happen. The reader assumes that the lead character is present to witness it. Delete “he saw.” The same holds true for “he knew.” Unless you’re expressing an opinion—not explication of fact—the reader assumes that all thoughts are controlled by that character. That’s the head we’re supposed to be inside.

The second is overuse of the dialogue tag “she said.” While it is a standard means of identifying a speaker, it is not needed half of the time. Once you have established two parties in a conversation, the reader assumes that each new line of dialogue, starting a new paragraph, is the other speaker. If you have two (or more) lines in a row that contain “she said,” start cutting the excess ones. If you really need identification, skip the dialogue tag entirely when the point-of-view character speaks. Insert a thought she’s having while speaking.

The third comprises modifiers that are not needed, especially prepositional phrases. If you have already told us that a couple is standing near the side entrance to a hotel, you don’t need “The night wind swirled around the alcove of the door.”  You’ve already told us where they’re standing, so take out “of the door.” If that couple promises to meet again at a mountain lodge, you don’t want to follow up with: “I’ll be buying us more Beefeater and tonics at the lodge, you can be sure of that.” Where else would he be buying the drinks? From a bear in the woods? Delete “at the lodge.”

Exercise: I have a rule of thumb while editing. I am hyper vigilant about words repeated within a short sequence. Whenever I see it occur, I immediately track back to the first use of the word and compare. One has to go, I know that, so I pick which usage is the most effective or, in many cases, needed to fill out an idiomatic expression. In rare cases, particularly in dialogue, you want the emphasis of a repeated word, but be hard on yourself. The reader most likely is less forgiving of repetition than you are. 

“When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them—then the rest will be valuable.” —Mark Twain

Copyright @ 2026, John Paine